Aphelion / Salutations!
There is that feeling again. When you’re given the freedom to choose, you start feeling almighty and powerful and limitless and everything in between. And then you start to feel like you have all the time in the world. You stop noticing how everyone is in a hurry and you forget you are in a fast-paced city. The bubble you live in gives the impression that summer vacation lasts for 12 months (when, in fact, that conscious person inside you, knows it doesn’t). Procrastination and laziness consumes your energy and you’re left with an eternally sleepy psyche.
You tell yourself to wake up. You wake up, get an instant rush of ideas but you don’t know where to begin. You gather up the dusty planners and notebooks and start sorting the mush of ideas in your head. The planning process is long and tiring and your psyche starts telling you, you only had 4 hours of sleep and you’re running on bad coffee and unhealthy breakfast. So you lied down and slept. When you wake up again, you forgot everything. 24 hours wasted.
1“Arms at Ready, ready to serve you in times of need. We are now accepting donations for the needy”
I don’t have the slightest idea why I’m starting a new blog again. Perhaps, I’m tired of the old one’s name and look? The name “Arms at Ready” sounds like a charitable institution1. It just made me stop and think twice about sticking to this name for a decent domain name. I blame my short attention span and pre-mature seriousness about silly things. There were so many things I wrote on that blog that I want to bury into a deeper place. Like my on-going struggle with my profession, the path that would make me happy, etc. blah blah. It felt so foreign all of the sudden. From the outside it looks all so jolly but almost half of what’s written there makes it a massive black hole. This will probably end up like the latter, but I don’t care anymore.
I’m not a writer and I don’t make sexy love with words and grammar. But I try. I’m articulate enough to tell you how I feel in limited adjectives such as superb, lovely, great. amazing and sad. Though, I’m not sure if I used articulate properly in that sentence. Oh god, I ridicule and criticize my own grammar. I can’t get rid of spewing paragraphs with seemingly unending run-on sentences.
Let me get you in to a little secret. I wanted to be a writer during my early teens, but I was too afraid of failure – so I gave up. The pessimist in me also took over and whispered my grammar is nowhere near the kids in the school paper had. Now, I can’t write properly because I criticize myself too much. That, or I get distracted too easily.
I have too much time on my hands because of this crossroad and I have so many things I want to do. Right now, there are so many ideas swimming in my head and it’s all a blurry mess. Problem is I can’t settle down, clear my mind and write. I have a problem with writing not because I can’t express myself, but because my words get lost in the busy car-crash of ideas.
2 I’m a photography enthusiast, ya’ll. And I take pictures and let them do all the talking, ya’ll.
Got a WordPress blog because I have this feeling it could encourage me to write more than post pictures2 and be quiet. I’ve been doing the latter more on my previous blog and I feel lousy after proof-reading everything. The downside is that you can’t fully customize templates. The dashboard is so busy, it makes me confused. Meh, I’ll live with it.
Time for introductions, I guess.
Perihelion n. /ˌperəˈhēlyən/
– The point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is closest to the sun.
Aphelion n. /əˈfēlyən/
– The point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun.
The Path of Minor Planets by Andrew Sean Greer3 is one of my favorite books and I particularly liked how he used Near Aphelion and Near Perihelion in reference to the time periods in the story. That is where I got the name. My context is not related to his though. I used both terms for the orbit points and referred to the sun as my happiness. I guess you could grasp the idea.
“Hi! I am emotional. It’s nice to meet you. “
sole satellite 